There are few people I know who have had as many parking tickets as I have had.  Granted, my issues with authority don’t make a good match for the Nazi-like regime, which is the Los Angeles Parking Bureau. Regardless of what defiant conclusions I concoct in my head, The Ticket People always won. Always.

When I was living in LA, I was that girl who parked illegally for 3 minutes to run in and drop off something, and came back to find a $35 ticket on her window. How do they know? WHERE DO THEY COME FROM? And, in a city that won’t even send it’s police to a traffic accident unless someone is mortally wounded, HOW DO THEY FIND YOUR ILLEGALY PARKED CAR SO DARN FAST?

It’s a mystery that haunted my 7-year tenure in Los Angeles. Consequently, it haunted my bank account. And thus, my marriage.

Because of said issues with authority, I also never EVER paid my parking tickets on time, which resulted in a fugitive-like existence in my own town. Anytime my car was parked on a street (which was, ALL the time, because I had to park 3-4 blocks away from where I lived due to no space) I was a sitting duck.  I would park, leave my vehicle alone and unguarded, and then spend the rest of my lunch, shopping, doctor’s appt, meeting, church completely paranoid at what They were doing to my car. Would it be there when I go back? Would it be booted? Ticketed? Or something new they devised to torture and pillage the otherwise good, tax-paying citizens of Los Angeles?

The answer to all these questions was YES. They would do all that and more.  I once parked in Beverly Hills (at a meter, that I paid for, mind you) to pop into a shop for some face cream. I was in the shop no more than 15 minutes, and when I emerged, my car was gone. They had loaded it up on a tow truck and hauled it nearly 10 miles away. (NOTE: They tow your car when you have what they believe to be an excessive amount of unpaid parking tickets. This amount was never formally revealed to me, but regardless you are required to procure your own transport to the tow yard which takes 30 minutes of calling to find out where it is and then provide CASH for all your unpaid tickets + the hourly fee of storing your car, which for me was never less than an additional $250.)


But beyond that, HOW DO YOU FIND, LOAD AND TOW A CAR IN THE HEART OF BEVERLY HILLS IN 15 MINUTES??? I didn’t even hear any ruckus inside the store! Can you imagine if we targeted such efficiency into, say, the education system? Kids would be learned beyond their years. We would feel safe with our future in their hands.

And then there’s the booting of my car. This was a very common practice. Booting one’s car also happens when you have an undisclosed amount of overdue tickets. The boot is a massive hunk of twisted metal and bolts, which was clearly designed by men who find torturing humans a rewarding occupation.  Also, along with the boot (which you cannot remove yourself, TRUST ME) a bright, prison-orange sticker roughly the size of your windshield is placed on your windshield with inflammatory exclamations about how you are the biggest, most depraved deadbeat on the block, and possibly the city because you haven’t paid fines incurred on you by simply trying to park in the rare space provided to citizens by the government.

Again, you must also find your own transport to the “Boot” Office, and pay in cash your owed amount plus a $100 boot fee. But there’s a catch. You only have 3 days to do it, or they tow your car. And then you’re down the wrong rabbit hole my friend.

Why do I know that they tow your car? BECAUSE I WAS PAYING OFF MY TICKETS THE SAME DAY I WAS BOOTED, AND WHILE I WAS DOING SO, THEY TOWED MY CAR.

Yes, they towed my car for no reason. They even admitted later that that they may have gotten their wires crossed and/or towed the wrong car. But by that point I was out nearly $900 in cash and barely hanging on to sane behavior.

Needless to say, moving to Denver has been very good for my nerves, and surprisingly, The Hus and I find ourselves awash with extra money we never had before.

And in two years, not one ticket.


Ironically, I do believe this Parking Meter Timer would have saved me a world of hurt. A simple beep to remind me to run, sprint to the meter and add more money would have meant I’d have had a leg up on Them. That my car was untouchable. That the Boot was just a distant nightmare.

And my sanity could stay with me a little longer.

Why This Gets The Delight Seal of Approval:

We tested many to bring you one Delightful Must-Have today…
-  Parking Meter Timer
-  Spring loaded holder with key ring holds 10 quarters
-  24 hour countdown with loud alarm
-  Bright LCD display
-  Dimensions 1.5" x 1"
-  Don’t let them bring you down!
-  Made in a South Korean Fair Trade Factory
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